It started innocently enough. I told my lovely bride that despite her impressive athletic accomplishments and my recent bilateral hip surgeries, I thought I could outrun her for 100-meters. A few hours later, once her dismissive laughter subsided, we visited the track and confirmed my hypothesis. Always gracious in defeat, she said, “It never even occurred to me that you could beat me”.
Still, I conceded due to her youth, talent and far superior conditioning, she’d leave me in the dust over a longer distance. Later that night, she suggested the challenge: “If you can beat me in a 400 before the end of the summer, I’ll buy you that mountain bike you want”.
Here is a tale of the tape for the 400 Challenge, to be held at high noon on Sunday 9/20 at the Van Cortlandt Park track.
|Nicole Sin Quee||NAME||Jonathan Cane|
|Kingston, Jamaica||BIRTHPLACE||Bronx, NY, USA|
|NSQ, Mrs. Coach Cane||NICKNAME||Coach Cane|
|2x Duathlon World Championship Medalist, mother||ATHLETIC CLAIM TO FAME||Fastest Jewish quinquagenarian on his block (pending verification)|
|Is “invincible” when she channels her inner Mike Tyson||ADVANTAGE||Considers pain from losing far worse than any physical torture|
|Mangoes, cherries, grudges||FUELED BY||Activia, Quaker Oats, Insecurity|
|“When you put on a race bib, STFU and race”||MOTTO||“The older I get, the better I was”|
|6-pack abs||OUTSTANDING PHYSICAL ATTTRIBUTE||Scars on hips|
|John Zuehlke||COACH||Sarana Hyatt/Shane Neil|